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Why Tho

ByTiffany Bluhm and Ashley Abercrombie
206 episodes

Podcast Summary

Welcome to Why Tho, we’re your hosts, Tiffany Bluhm and Ashley Abercrombie. We land somewhere in between Mother Teresa and Biggie Smalls, and we’re just wondering: Why tho? We all have questions, from our existential crisis curiosities, to our hey girl, why your eyebrows look so good tho, and we want to tackle all of these conversations with you. Thanks for joining us! Remember to subscribe and comment, it helps others to find the show. To learn more about Tiffany's writing, speaking or books, visit www.tiffanybluhm.com. To learn more about Ashley's writing, speaking, or books, visit www.ashabercrombie.org.

#1

Final Four: Final Words

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES! We've loved your messages, comments, reviews, and all the ways you've made the Why Tho community a place of hope, justice, and grace. It's been a pleasure to serve you. Here's a few things we hope you remember as your journey forward and we hope you'll continue to pray for us and reach out to let us know how you're doing. We love you!! BUY OUR BOOKS. If you've loved Why Tho, say thank you by purchasing our resources. That helps us get to write another one and also supports the good work we do in the world. Rise of the Truth Teller: Love Is the Resistance: Prey Tell: She Dreams: Stay in touch over email with Tiffany and Ashley: Stay in the Know with Tiffany Bluhm: After Hours with Ash:

2022-09-29•24mins
#2

Final Four: What We're Loving Right Now

A tried and true episode of Why Tho, we share what we're loving right now and why. Big things, small things, book things, people things. Enjoy our last hoorah of what we're loving right now. As promised, check out the Neurocycle app: BUY OUR BOOKS. If you've loved Why Tho, say thank you by purchasing our resources. That helps us get to write another one and also supports the good work we do in the world. Rise of the Truth Teller: Love Is the Resistance: Prey Tell: She Dreams: Stay in touch over email with Tiffany and Ashley: Stay in the Know with Tiffany Bluhm: After Hours with Ash:

2022-09-22•21mins
#3

Final Four: Favorite Episodes

We've had a good four-year run at Why Tho and today we look back at the episodes that made us laugh, think, and change. From our faith and politics series, to best guests, to cheese boards and frozen pizza, we've imparted wisdom and courage to this community. You'll get a good idea of what to go back and listen to on Why Tho and hear more about our journey together. BUY OUR BOOKS. If you've loved Why Tho, say thank you by purchasing our resources. That helps us get to write another one and also supports the good work we do in the world. Rise of the Truth Teller: Love Is the Resistance: Prey Tell: She Dreams: STAY IN TOUCH OVER EMAIL WITH ASHLEY AND TIFFANY After Hours with Ash: Stay in the Know with Tiffany Bluhm:

2022-09-15•24mins
#4

Final Four: Roast or Toast

Big News this week on Why Tho: This is one of our final episodes. Four years of weekly conversations between two dear friends about everything under the sun - we are so proud of this work and thankful to be in your eardrum every Thursday. Why Tho will remain available until Jesus comes back so you can access it anytime. So, we’re going out in our usual style, starting with Roast or Toast. From shows to books to therapists, here’s what we want to roast and what we want to toast. If Why Tho has been a blessing in your life, BUY OUR BOOKS! You didn’t listen to a single ad or deal with any bull crap from us, so as a thank you, order Ashley and Tiffany’s latest books. This goes a very long way in making sure they write another one in the future: Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm: Love Is the Resistance by Ashley Abercrombie: Rise of the Truth Teller by Ashley Abercrombie:

2022-09-08•34mins
#5

Behold Hope in the Wild with Danielle Strickland

Cynicism and despair tempt us on the regular. One stroll through social media and the daily news can tank the serotonin levels. Danielle Strickland is an author, mentor, activist, and founder of Womens Speakers Collective, Brave Global, Amplify Peace, and more. Her justice work across the globe has given her a unique perspective on hope. Her passion for empowering women and holding people accountable for their actions is inspiring. In today's episode, we cover: - cynicism as the loss of hope in other people - despair as a sense of hopelessness - the brutal honesty of hope - hope in the wild of your past trauma and ordinary life right now You'll love this episode and we encourage you to share it with friends. Buy Danielle's book, The Other Side of Hope: Visit her website for more resources, initiatives, and connection points:

2022-08-25•34mins
#6

The Lord is My Courage with KJ Ramsey

What is hope without hardship? What is story without suffering? What is community without understanding? Today’s guest, therapist and author KJ Ramsey walks us through: -her experiences with autoimmune disease and disability -how we can find God in nature and friendship -Why success can sometimes become a burden -How we can keep hope alive when things feel like a dumpster fire You will love KJ! This interview is life-giving and full of wisdom. And laughter, of course. 🤣 Buy KJ’s new book, The Lord is My Courage which has the most beautiful cover and buy one to gift to a friend!

2022-08-18•34mins
#7

Surviving Summer Recap 2022

This summer at Why Tho, we learned from a friendship expert, therapist, and life planner. We wanted you to get the wisdom you need to build the ordinary rhythms and connections that help you grow. Summer can be death by a thousand cuts (or meltdowns) but it can also be a time to move slow, take breaks, and figure out what keeps you sane. We hope that’s what this series did for you! More to come since summer is not over but for now, we’re thankful you’re here. Let us know how our guests and this series helped you or made you laugh. Thanks for having us in your eardrum! Want more from Tiffany and Ashley? Instagram: Www.Instagram.com/TiffanyBluhm Www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie Read essays and join Ashley’s After Hours community: Visit Tiffany’s website: www.tiffanybluhm.com

2022-08-11•32mins
#8

Surviving Summer: Life Starts Now with Chanel Dokun

Today's episode is a TREAT with author, therapist, and certified Life Planner Chanel Dokun. In her work and in this episode, Chanel digs deep into what women feel and experience, pushing us all to look at beliefs that launch instead of limit, daily rhythms that encourage instead of thwart, and habits that cause us to embody our true lives instead of dissociate. You'll be encouraged and liberated to start your life now and Chanel can lead every step of the way. Buy her book and make it your next book club pick: Say hello on IG:

2022-08-04•34mins

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#9

Surviving Summer: Mental Health with Therapist Keisha

Earth is a whole thing y'all so we brought therapist and mental health expert, Keisha Polonio, to give us rhythms and practices to help us in our ordinary life. Keisha says, "There's no quick fix for healing and no quick fix for the mental health issues you may be facing." It's too true and things like keeping a routine, standing in the sunshine, laughing with friends, and attending therapy sessions can help you survive summer. We're grateful for Keisha for her time. Follow her on Instagram (and drool over her water videos from Belize): If you're in Florida, check out Keisha's therapy practice. She specializes in spiritual and racial trauma, cancer support, life transitions, and stress management at the Counseling and Wellness Boutique: As always, if you loved this episode, tell your friends! And take time to rate and review the show!

2022-07-21•30mins
#10

Surviving Summer: Frientimacy

You're in for a treat this week with guest Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy. If you're finding your footing in female friendships, asking questions about boundaries, or wondering how to get to know new people, this episode is for you. Shasta lays out three things every friendship needs and explains that you don't need more time but better connections in your relationships. She's clear, helpful, and we loved this interview! If you did too, take a moment to share with friends - that helps other people find the show! You can also rate and review Why Tho to show your support. Interested in connecting with Tiffany and Ashley? Here's a few links to their work: www.tiffanybluhm.com The Resisterhood Cohort: www.ashabercrombie.org/book www.ashleyabercrombie.substack.com

2022-07-14•37mins
#11

Surviving Summer: Shows You Need to Watch

If there's one thing we barely agree on, it's television options, but that's why today's episode is perfect. Ashley is being perfectly embarrassing by remembering no actors or actresses names. Tiffany, per usual, finds a way to bring up the Office and Parks and Recs. From true crime to Tiffany Haddish to superheroes, we've got you covered for the rest of summer. We're out here surviving with you, Why Tho Fam, and always grateful for you! Have you heard about Tiffany's mentorship program? It's going to be life-changing! Get more information here: Read Ashley's essays, like Pro-birth is Not Enough, over on the After Hours community: www.ashleyabercrombie.substack.com

2022-07-07•29mins
#12

Surviving Summer: Probably Maybe

First, our hearts are with you this week as we are all processing the SCOTUS decision on Roe. Wherever you are on the map, we're thinking of you. We're in this together. And very thankful to have a series on survival. Clearly, we need it! Second, what is summer if not liminal space persisting? Perhaps you start your day or your week with a plan in mind and by end of day (or week) you're wondering what happened? Did nothing happen? Should I be accomplishing things? Or maybe you're judging yourself or comparing yourselves to others for how you work or how you mom or how you show up in the world. In today's episode, we talk about the deep well of joy, shutting up online, sometimes, and how we "probably, maybe" will do things during summer. Because we need freedom to change our minds, to grow, to not be productive, to rest, to pursue joy. Earth is hard but we might as well survive summer. We love you Why Tho Fam! Thanks for your support - we are grateful for you! Take a minute to rate and review the show, or share this episode with a friend - the more, the merrier. Read Ashley's essays over at After Hours, an internet neighborhood, where all are welcome: Say hi and message with Tiffany on Instagram: www.tiffanybluhm.com

2022-06-30•28mins
#13

Surviving Summer: Summer Fashion

Welcome to the surviving summer series. Some of you have no need for survival. You are going to Greece and laying by pools. We bless you with the love of the lord. Some of you are desperate to laugh, figure out some fun things for yourself and your loved ones, and we are here for you either way. Try not to get too excited, but in this episode we will be talking about summer fashion. We are well aware that no one wants to hear us talk about fashion, but trust us, because we will make you laugh. Topics include: Athlesuire Sweat shorts Sweet socks Thrift and garage sale jeans Books (of course we are talking about books) Everything in between Thanks for joining us for another episode of Why Tho! Read Ashley’s essays on After Hours: www.ashleyabercrombie.SUBSTACK.com Interested in joining Tiffany’s cohort? Sign up here:

2022-06-23•29mins
#14

Shameless Plug Part 2

Week two of SHAMELESS PLUGS does not disappoint. Women matter. Our voices, our bodies, our gifts - what we give to the world is irreplaceable. For fifteen years, Tiffany has devoted her life to empowering and championing women. She shares the path that led her here - from her first mommy blog with a six-week old and pre-schooler in her arms to writing books about story, dreaming, and justice. As a mentor, teacher, and friend, Tiffany is moving into the next phase of her leadership: Resisterhood Cohorts. Hear her heart behind a smaller group of women journeying together for seven months and why proximity is so powerful. Interested in the cohort? Fill out this form: Connect with Tiffany on Instagram: www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm Learn more about her books: www.tiffanybluhm.com

2022-06-16•27mins
#15

Shameless Plug Part 1

Okay fam, we're allergic to hyping ourselves up and to selling things, but we recognize our stuff is dang good and worth telling you about! In today's episode, Shameless Plug Part 1, Ashley shares her pivot out of twenty years of ministry and ten years of writing and speaking. It led her to start a little internet neighborhood called After Hours. If you're looking for hope in hard places, laughter, and wisdom for your real life, this is for you. We rarely ask our listeners to support our work but today we are. After Hours is less than a latte every month or $50 for the year. Ashley writes about boundaries, grace, current issues like abortion and gun violence and more. It would be a pleasure to welcome you into the community. Sign up here: Want to know if After Hours is for you? Read this: If you don't want to add to your inbox, consider purchasing Ashley's latest book, Love Is the Resistance: Learn to Disagree, Resolve the Conflicts You've been Avoiding, and Create Real Change on Amazon (or wherever you get your books)

2022-06-09•26mins
#16

Why Tho State of the Union

Like so many of you, we are crushed over the shootings in Uvalde. Our babies! BABIES! It is difficult to imagine that loss. At the beginning of this episode, we talked about summer plans with our kids and laughed together as we often do. There are too many families who will struggle to do that. We are sick of this. This episode is a "state of the union" style episode, where we process what we see and how it's impacting us and what we can do about it. It is good to remember that we are not helpless and we are not hopeless. We need to hold ourselves and others accountable to voice our concerns to legislators and to organizations that are causing hurt and harm to communities. It's not too late to make phone calls. Find your local, state, and federal legislators here: www.usa.gov/elected-officials Remember that the vast majority of people in government positions actually want to help others. If your heart is heavy over the SBC report, or another issue we didn't mention, consider writing a letter to express your concern or setting up a meeting with someone who has the power to make change. We love a good rant (you know this) but we can't stop at rants. We need to take action. We're proud of you listeners and we love you. Thank you for making change where you are. You're powerful and we're rooting for you! For another resource on better understanding gun violence in America, read this book by gun violence survivor Taylor Schumann:

2022-06-02•24mins
#17

The AAPI Women Who've Changed Our Lives

Today’s episode is a special, personal one. We are celebrating AAPI Heritage Month by sharing a few of the Asian women who made a lasting impact on our personal lives. Women who shaped our thinking and our freedom, and taught us how to love and share and be together with others. As the Why Tho fam, we also want to honor Tiffany, as a leader in our lives and in the AAPI community. It’s a blessing to grow together. Support Tiffany’s work by donating to SIP - a weekly table gathering of women to talk about real issues through the lens of faith and justice. You can also order Tiffany’s book Prey Tell on Amazon or wherever books are sold. To connect with the Why Tho hosts, message them on Instagram! Www.Instagram.com/tiffanybluhm Www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie

2022-05-26•29mins
#18

Hello to Here

How do we learn to stay present? It’s easy to be overwhelmed by work, news cycles, social media, and struggles. Saying 'hello to here' is a practice that can help you settle into the moment. Putting aside distractions, phones, and hustles to stay conscious and connect to the people right in front of you is life-giving. We know there are a million reasons to stay stuck rehearsing the past or worrying about the future. In this episode, we hope to encourage you to find ways to stay present and close to the here and now. Connect with us on Instagram Www.Instagram.com/TiffanyBluhm Www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie

2022-05-19•28mins
#19

Why Pro-Birth is Not Enough

In light of the draft of the opinion written about Roe vs. Wade we thought it was important to share a conversation we had during our Faith and Politics series. One of the most divisive issues in America's Christian communities is the issue of abortion. We felt it was extremely important to cover this difficult topic because this matters to women, to families, and to us. As Sister Joan Chittister said, "I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is." Pro-birth is not enough. We need to care for people from the womb to the tomb, to value all life, every color, nationality and gender, as made in the image of God. Today's episode, while not exhaustive, will focus on women, on thoughtfully considering what it would take to make abortion unnecessary, and what we can do to serve as compassionate people of faith. Shame is never a tool in our tool belt, but love is. As promised during the episode, here are a few videos, podcasts, and articles that will help you better understand the issue, as well as the history of evangelicals and single issue voting based on abortion politics. Read Ashley's full story of abortion by downloading the first chapter of her book for free: Ashley's essay, "I am a Christian. I have had an abortion. I am pro-life from birth to death."

2022-05-12•28mins
#20

My Body Is Not a Prayer Request Part 2

Shame hinders us from admitting we have needs and limitations. We are trained from birth to hide or resent our needs, often because the adults in our lives teach us to do that. What if there's a better way? Dr. Amy Kenny, a disabled scholar and Shakespeare lecturer, joins us to teach us that better way. This is a vulnerable, generous, and transformative conversation. It will sit with you and stay with you. Share with friends and get a copy of this book for you and everyone you know!! More about your new best friend, Dr. Amy Kenny: Amy Kenny (PhD, University of Sussex) is a disabled scholar and a Shakespeare lecturer whose research focuses on medical and bodily themes in literature. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, The Mighty, The Audacity, and Sojourners. Kenny is a scribe for Freedom Road Institute for Leadership and Justice; serves on the mayor's Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Taskforce in California; coordinates support for people experiencing homelessness in her neighborhood; and is currently co-launching Jubilee Homes OC, a permanent supportive housing initiative in her local community. Order Amy's book, My Body Is Not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church

2022-04-28•26mins
#21

My Body Is Not a Prayer Request

Disability is part of life. We don't talk about it enough, so we invited our favorite teacher, Dr. Amy Kenny to join us for a two-part episode. We talk about our common worship of productivity and achievement and how that impacts people of varying abilities. Dr. Amy reminds us that disability is not a metaphor for weakness and introduces us to the idea that our needs are too often synonymous with shame. YOU WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW. TRUST US. More about your new best friend, Dr. Amy Kenny: Amy Kenny (PhD, University of Sussex) is a disabled scholar and a Shakespeare lecturer whose research focuses on medical and bodily themes in literature. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, The Mighty, The Audacity, and Sojourners. Kenny is a scribe for Freedom Road Institute for Leadership and Justice; serves on the mayor's Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Taskforce in California; coordinates support for people experiencing homelessness in her neighborhood; and is currently co-launching Jubilee Homes OC, a permanent supportive housing initiative in her local community. Order Amy's book, My Body Is Not a Prayer Request: Disability Justice in the Church

2022-04-21•24mins
#22

What's Saving Your Life Right Now?

A Why Tho favorite episode about the small things that are keeping us going. Per usual, we are extra typical elder millennials. Prepare yourself for “clearly struggling with life” things like Facebook Marketplace and shoe inserts. Bless our little hearts. What’s keeping you alive and full of hope these days? Send us a message on Instagram so we can add them to our list! As promised here is Tiffany’s tahini dressing recipe: 2 tbsp of each of the following blended together: tahini, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, coconut aminos www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/Tiffanybluhm

2022-04-14•23mins
#23

Hope Amid America's Divided Regions

America might be 50 states (plus Puerto Rico) but it might as well be several small countries. The regional wars are real. Coastal elites, the Midwest, Bible Belt, southern states and the North East unbelievably fit into one nation. Still, we find ourselves divided. Understanding is needed about the people we are, the values we hold, and how geography informs our reality. Here’s what’s cool: America is often portrayed as red and blue, but purple is actually closer to the truth. We’re more connected than we realize. Links from today: Books: The Color of Compromise by Jemar Tisby The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein

2022-04-07•33mins

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#24

Seasons are Changing

It's been a long winter and we are ready for spring. Things are blooming, the weather is warming, and thank God, it feels like we're returning to normalcy. Okay, things are still not normal, but we're getting there. Today's episode is about hope, resilience, making a lot with a little, calming our American behinds down, and finding the light in the darkness of winter. We're with you listeners, and we're for you. You're not alone out there. Now, come and tell us if you prefer Beyonce or Destiny's Child: www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm

2022-03-31•28mins
#25

Sacred or Secular?

If you were looking for a laugh, you have come to the right place. Today’s episode is not only hilarious, but full of wisdom. Too often we suppress, ignore, or avoid our humanity instead of embracing it. The crazy things we go through, the hilarious antics of childhood (or adulthood), our stories, and insecurities are sometimes swallowed up by our desire to be perceived as holy or good or perfect. We’ve got good news, there’s no sacred and secular. We are each our own person, carrying our stories, and doing our best to live life with a measure of courage and hope. We don’t have to pretend or forsake ourselves to be loved by God or others. It feels that way sometimes, sure, but the truth is, humanity is something to be embraced, not rejected. It’s the thing that actually keeps us connected. We’re rooting for you friends and super thankful you’re here! www.tiffanybluhm.com www.ashabercrombie.org

2022-03-24•30mins
#26

Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots with Mary Marantz

In addition to Daylight Savings Time legislation passing (HOORAY!) we're delighted to introduce you to our guest on the podcast today, Mary Marantz. Get ready for a rich conversation about the expectations of others and our "who" being more important than our "do". Mary's new devotional, Slow Growth Equals Strong Roots is a huge help to every achiever facing the internal turmoil of feeling like nothing is ever enough. Mary grew up in a trailer in rural West Virginia. The first of her family to go to college, she went on to earn a master's degree in moral philosophy and a law degree from Yale. After turning down six-figure-salary law firm offers in London and New York and starting a business with her husband, Justin, together they have gone on to build a successful online education platform for thousands of creative entrepreneurs worldwide. The best selling author of Dirt (an ECPA finalist for Memoir of the Year), Mary is also the host of the highly ranked podcast The Mary Marantz Show, which debuted in the iTunes Top 200. She and Justin live in a 1880s fixer-upper by the sea in New Haven, Connecticut, with their two very fluffy golden retrievers, Good Speed and Atticus. Take Mary's quiz: What's your achiever type? www.achieverquiz.com You can also learn more about her devotional - get a copy for you and a friend! You won't regret it!

2022-03-17•30mins
#27

Women's History Month: The Long Game of Life

It’s International Women’s History Month and we pulled an oldie but goodie out of the archives. Maybe you need a reminder that difficult days don’t last forever. We’re playing the long game of life. Tiffany was having a particularly difficult day of parenting when she felt a little whisper: this is a long game. A very helpful whisper indeed, because life is a marathon, not a sprint, and even though we have moments to run hard, we must constantly pull ourselves up from the fray, from the discouraging bad days to acknowledge that the overall arc of our life is likely quite positive. Ashley averages one movie every two years, and recently saw the Toni Morrison documentary, The Pieces I Am, where she too, was reminded of the long game of life: to do what it takes daily and to not only endure, but to build a legacy that inspires others. In our rejection and failure, mountaintops and valleys, dreams fulfilled and dreams delayed, we need to press on in our calling, relationships, and purpose. This is a long game of life and we've got to live it with integrity, grace, and conviction. You're building something beautiful and we're here to cheer you on with this week's episode of Why Tho. Subscribe, leave a review, or share this podcast with a friend, it helps others find the show. To find out more about Tiffany's writing, speaking, or books visit her site at Find her on Instagram: To find out more about Ashley's writing, speaking, or books visit her site at Find her on Instagram:

2022-03-10•23mins
#28

Afraid to Fail Part 2

Since we've learned that failure is a part of life, we wanted to offer some practicals for dealing with failure, the big fails and the small ones. Facing shame is a critical way to lessen the grip that failure has on us. We're told that we're not enough. That if we mess up, it's over. That if we don't do things perfectly, there will be no path forward. It's bull crap and we're here to say that if you're human, you'll fail. And sometimes failure leads to freedom. We love you listeners and this month, we're inviting you to join us for the Ezer Collective in Southern California April 21-23! Our friend Jo Saxton is hosting round tables for women in all sectors of society. If you're leading, this is your jam: a time for connection and refreshment, with practical tools and good humans to help you on your path. For more information: To sign up now: You can use the special Why Tho promo code PODCAST for $50 off registration. We can't wait to see you there!

2022-03-03•29mins
#29

Black History is American History

First of all, gospel is the music of heaven. We will not hear another side. Second, it is a joy to celebrate black history. Our black brothers and sisters have given us a rich legacy of connectedness and joy, endurance and laughter. In today's episode, Ashley and Tiffany share what they have learned from the black community. What mindsets are important for the future as we advocate and walk together towards justice? How can we see ourselves as creators of a new world in our parenting, working, and worshipping? Black is beautiful and we'll be the first to say so. Resources to go deeper: Toni Morrison - The Pieces I Am Documentary The Very Good Gospel and Fortune - both by Lisa Sharon Harper Reading While Black - Esau McCaulley Let Justice Roll Down - Dr. John Perkins The Black Church - PBS documentary The 1619 Project by the NY Times

2022-02-24•29mins
#30

Afraid to Fail?

Why are we so afraid to fail? SOME REALLY GOOD REASONS. Maybe you were raised in a home where mistakes were not allowed, or you had a boss who threatened to fire you for the smallest things. Maybe you've experienced loss of relationship or reputation because of a personal failure. We know what we stand to lose. That's why we're afraid to fail. But here's what we've learned: Failure is part of being human. There's no way around it. Failure can be a gift and failure can lead to growth. We need to normalize mistakes, setbacks, and failures. Because nobody's perfect. Love Why Tho? Take a minute to rate the show! Wanna support the hosts? (WHY WOULDN'T YOU?) Buy their new books: Prey Tell: Love Is the Resistance:

2022-02-17•31mins
#31

What We Wish We Could Champion 20 Years Ago

Pretend it's the year 2002, "Hot in Herre" by Nelly is topping the charts, belly button rings are in, and the Star Wars prequels are proving underwhelming. What a time to be alive! Now, if you could go back in time, what would you champion in your life 20 years ago? Mentorship, investment into friendships, or maybe walking away from toxic spaces? It's never too late to examine where in our lives we can grow! We are wild about you, Why Tho fam! Want to support Why Tho? Rate and review the show! Want to support Ashley and Tiffany? Buy their books, share this episode, or send a note to say hello! www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2022-02-10•32mins
#32

Is my middle name... Pivot?

People say “change is the name of the game.” Maybe that’s a phrase that should die right alongside “unprecedented times”. Because how about NO CHANGE and PRECEDENTED TIMES? Today, we talk about the pivots we’ve made collectively since Covid changed our lives in March of 2020. We also share how we’ve navigated pivots personally. Career changes, family dynamics, loss of friendship and community, and more. Pivot is our middle name. Probably yours, too. If you need practical help and creative ways of thinking about change, this episode is for you. Want to support Why Tho? Rate and review the show! Want to support Ashley and Tiffany? Buy their books, share this episode, or send a note to say hello! www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2022-02-03•29mins
#33

Shoot the Shenanigans

We’re laughing to keep from crying this week 'cause what is the world we are living in? It’s good to remember that low expectations of the times we are living in doesn’t mean no expectations. How do we dig deep for joy? What does it look like to listen to our bodies? Is there anything we need to pay attention to that we might be (unintentionally) ignoring? Keep fighting the good fight Why Tho fam. You are not alone! As mentioned in this episode, the very out there Pinterest predictions: Come say hi to Tiffany and Ashley: www.Instagram.com/Tiffanybluhm www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie

2022-01-20•30mins
#34

Intentions on Social Media

Social media is a source of connection in our lives. Love it or hate it (maybe both) it’s here to stay. In today’s episode, we’re processing what it looks like to participate in online communities without them running our lives. - How can we be mindful media consumers? - What does it mean to be a good internet neighbor? - What should we tolerate and what should we say no to? - Are we engaged in cultivating friendship in-person as a primary way of being known? We don’t have it all figured out (who does?) but we want to live healthy lives rooted in relationships. We bet you do too. Want to support the Why Tho show? Rate and review the podcast! Did you know Tiffany and Ashley write books? Pick up your copies today: www.tiffanybluhm.com www.ashabercrombie.org/book

2022-01-13•31mins
#35

2022 Draft Picks for Our Dream Team

The people around you matter. Who’s on your team? Who’s in your corner? What do you need from them? What do they need from you? This got us thinking about draft picks. Not because we understand sports, but because if it was possible to hand pick people from any sector of society (OR TV BECAUSE TED LASSO IS WELL REPRESENTED HERE), we’d do it. Maybe the people you’d pick reveal something about the type of person you need in your real life. Here’s our six draft picks for our home teams. Schools and businesses are closing again and today marks one year since the insurrection on the Capitol. There’s a familiar feeling in the air. While we’re not in the same place, it’s important to push past the sadness and fear to be in relationship with others. To cultivate more of what you need and love. We’re here for you! Thanks for joining us in 2022. Stop playing and tell your friends. Then, rate or review the Why Tho podcast. It helps others find the show!

2022-01-06•32mins
#36

Anti-Resolution Resolutions

Why make impossible resolutions? If you haven’t worked out for more than an hour in 2021, why do you think you can handle an hour a day in 2022? This is our annual anti-resolution resolution episode. Ten things to stop doing in the new year, such as, but not limited to: - Pleasing people who cannot be pleased - Saying yes when you want to say no - Living in perpetual disappointment because you can’t communicate your expectations - Buying things on Instagram We’re sure we could have given you a list of things to START doing but you probably have enough of those. Starting some of the best habits in life begin with quitting some of the worst ones. Good luck and Godspeed. May 2022 not be quite the Jack leg that her two predecessors have been. For more humor and shenanigans, follow Ashley and Tiffany on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.Instagram.com/tiffanybluhm

2021-12-30•25mins
#37

Holiday Survival Guide: Love Actually or The Holiday

Let’s talk about why Rose from Titanic just trusts that her chat buddy is not a serial killer and swaps houses with Cameron Diaz. Let’s also discuss the unnecessary naked plot line in Love Actually and let’s decide which team you are on. Love Actually or The Holiday? Christmas is in TWO DAYS and we’re here to bring you all the laughter, parenting advice you don’t need yet, and solid coaching on not consuming stuff that makes you cry in your cornflakes. Enjoy! We welcome your comments on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/TiffanyBluhm www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie Happy Christmas Why Tho fam. You’re our favorite!

2021-12-23•29mins
#38

Holiday Survival Guide: Body Shame at the Holidays

Pull up a chair ladies (and 2 gents), this one’s a good one. No better time to talk about bodies than the shame inducing holiday season where we’re told to wear our fat pants and then prepare for the worst on January 1. Because it’s one hour at the gym and a big sugar fast, baby! We call bull crap! Instead of all that nonsense: ⁃ Learn to listen to your body. ⁃ Understand the need to move negative energy through the body. ⁃ Connect with real people about your real problems. ⁃ Recognize that eating disorders and disordered eating are real for many women. ⁃ Consider the impact of hormone health on overall emotional well-being. ⁃ Know that trauma impacts your life. There’s enough stress on planet earth. Let’s take a load off instead of putting a load on. Love Why Tho? Rate and review! Subscribe to get these bad boys straight into your ear drums.

2021-12-16•28mins
#39

Holiday Survival Guide: God Speaks Through Wombs with Drew Jackson

Get ready for a rich conversation with poet Drew Jackson about the power of poetry, the expectation of waiting, and what it means to listen to voices on the margins. Get more of what you need: ⁃ Peace ⁃ Understanding ⁃ Hope We stood at attention more than once during this interview. Enjoy friends! In the midst of the hustle and bustle, grief and anxiety, we pray you’d find rest and comfort as you listen here. Read Drew’s book: God Speaks Through Wombs Follow along with the Why Tho Gals: www.Instagram.com/TiffanyBluhm www.Instagram.com/ashabercrombie

2021-12-09•31mins
#40

Holiday Survival Guide: Favorite Things

We love a good favorite things list, especially at the holidays. Any survival guide worth its salt will include things that bring delight. Unfortunately, we are a millennial stereotype in every conceivable way but we hope that’s why you love us. In this episode we talk about: - Why texture makes foods inedible ⁃ Best foods to ship to your house ⁃ How candles can lift your mood (it’s science people!) ⁃ The effects of social media on our lives and brains We’re rooting for you! Stay sane out there and be sure to share this episode with a friend. www.aahabercrombie.org www.TiffanyBluhm.com

2021-12-02•38mins
#41

Holiday Survival Guide Pt. 2

As usual, there are heavy topics to talk about. Julius Jones, Kyle Rittenhouse, and Ahmaud Arbery has us talking about the difficult, painful reality of sons in America. That led us to boundaries, and what we are, and are not going to fight about at the Thanksgiving table. Also, what we are saying no to, code words and signs that it's time to go, and the things that are bringing delight to us right now. (Please order 10m blow dry brush here: and solve all your dry skin problems here: ) And of course, we shared our anti-turkey Thanksgiving meal plans. Remember, most of you are adults. You're in control of your life and relationships. You're a powerful person. Make decisions toward sanity and generosity. Happy anti-turkey day! Love Why Tho? Take 5 seconds to support us and rate the show! Take two minutes, and leave a review. Got one more minute? Share Why Tho with a friend! Check out more of our resources: www.tiffanybluhm.com www.ashabercrombie.org IG accounts mentioned: @blackliturgies @lisasharper @saltermcneil

2021-11-25•32mins
#42

Holiday Survival Guide Pt. 1

We know the holidays can be challenging. Right alongside peppermint mochas, target trips, and annual traditions, there is often stress, financial pressure, and relationship issues. This series will help you navigate some of these challenges. Today’s episode we tackle: Why you shouldn’t eat everything at the potluck (people’s kitchens can’t be trusted) What to gift the host of a holiday party (and a question to ask in case someone is in recovery) Exercising your agency (no is a complete sentence + go late, leave early) Hilarious letters from kids to God ( Two delightful films to make you LOL We’ll be back next week, with more on dealing with difficult emotions, family dynamics, and dialing down the end of a LONG YEAR. Check out our work, books, articles and more: www.tiffanybluhm.com www.ashabercrombie.org

2021-11-18•30mins
#43

Friendship: It's Complicated with Andi Andrew

Friendship makes life worth living. When people are in our corner and when relationships are healthy, we experience greater joy and peace. But when our friendships need to change, or end, or get honest to move forward, it gets complicated. Andi Andrew joins us today to talk about the root of our complicated connections, how our family of origin impacts the way women relate to women, and what to do when a friendship needs to change. Check out Andi’s new book, "Friendship, It’s Complicated" and say hello on Instagram:

2021-11-11•30mins
#44

Liturgies for the People with Kayla Craig

Liturgies have sustained the saints for eons and today we learn how in this pandemic world we can do the same. Kayla Craig addresses why liturgies matter, who they are for, how they transform us, and why we need them. Don't miss out on this gem of an episode! Follow Kayla on IG for some serious life saving prayers @liturgiesforparents and to learn about her latest book of prayers, visit: Who needs this podcast? Share it with them! www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-11-04•33mins
#45

Try Harder or Try Softer?

Hey there Why Tho listeners, instead of trying harder, let's talk about trying softer with therapist and author Aundi Kolber. Aundi walks us through what it looks like to examine how we process trauma and what we can do about it. As we walk into the holiday season, this is a must listen if you know you may be triggered by places or people that make you want to run for the hills. For more about Aundi's work, check her out on Instagram @aundikolber. For her latest guided journal or to learn more about her best selling book, visit Who needs this podcast? Share it with them! www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-10-28•29mins
#46

Throwback Thursday: Why Heaven is All Around Us

Enjoy our last week in our Throwback Thursday series: Why Heaven is All Around Us Tho. A global pandemic doesn't really feel like heaven, but we're encouraging you to really look and see the goodness of God. Jesus often said, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand..." In the midst of economic difficulty, oppressive rulers, racism, sexism and more, he pressed people to see that heaven is right here, right now, all around us. No matter how dark, how fearful, how lonely, we are not alone, and there is beauty, and dare we say, joy to be found.... But not in Tiger King. So y'all stop watching that garbage! Or at least message us with an explanation, please. We love you Why Tho Fam, and we love encouraging you week after week. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed today's episode, share it with a friend and don't forget to subscribe and rate the podcast, it helps others find our show! Want more content? Tiffany and Ashley have some free gifts for you so go visit their websites for downloads, bible studies, book trailers, and more. www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-10-21•20mins
#47

Throwback Thursday: Why Cheese Boards are Life

to our top downloaded episodes of Why Tho! Old friends and new, these episodes offer humor, wisdom, and practical hope for you. In celebration of our third birthday we’re revisiting the archives to see how far we’ve come and thank you for being part of the Why Tho Fam! Enjoy our Throwback Thursday fave all about cheese boards! Cheese boards are a ministry and we'll tell you what makes our so mouthwatering. www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-10-14•23mins
#48

Throwback Thursday: Why Body Image is a Struggle

to our top downloaded episodes of Why Tho! Old friends and new, these episodes offer humor, wisdom, and practical hope for you. In celebration of our third birthday we’re revisiting the archives to see how far we’ve come and thank you for being part of the Why Tho Fam! Body image impacts women everywhere. Our culture is obsessed with image. From magazine covers to social media ads to the groups we belong to, we're receiving implicit and explicit messages that the sum total of our value is in our pants size, our lack of wrinkles, our hair, and skin color. In this episode, Tiffany and Ashley talk about their experiences with body image (name calling, shame, eating disorder, and more). Plus, we'll provide helpful tools to help you overcome negative body image and share how to lean into a more holistic perspective of our emotional, spiritual, relational and physical well-being. We can resist the cultural norms and stop reducing ourselves to what we look like so we can celebrate who we (and others) are! To find out more about Tiffany's writing, speaking, or books visit her site at Find her on Instagram: To find out more about Ashley's writing, speaking, or books visit her site at Find her on Instagram:

2021-10-07•27mins
#49

Throwback Thursday: Why You Need to Stop Making Excuses For People Tho

Welcome to the Throwback Thursday Series! Enjoy one of our top downloaded episodes from the archives. People lie, cheat, gossip, act wild, don't do what they said they would do, ghost us like they have lost their minds, and we still keep them in our lives! WHY THO? Maybe it's because we fear the consequences, or repercussions of changing the boundaries in the relationship. We fear the loss of connection, or the rumor mill, or that a potential opportunity will be taken if we hold people accountable for their actions. We fear rejection and loneliness, and we also can be so afraid that people we love the most won't ever change, that we'll be stuck in the crazy cycle forever. In this episode, we learn why we need to stop making excuses for people so that our relationships are loving and meaningful, instead of scary and manipulative. No relationship is perfect, but we don't have to stay in transactional, dysfunctional relationships - we can work through our character flaws with the right people, who are also working through theirs. Time to get off the crazy cycle, and say BYE THO to people who have no intention of actually loving us. Who needs this podcast? Share it with them! www.instagram.com/ashabercrombie www.instagram.com/tiffanybluhm www.ashabercrombie.org www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-09-30•26mins
#50

Throwback Thursday: Why Quitting Could Be the Best Decision You've Ever Made

to our top downloaded episodes of Why Tho! Old friends and new, these episodes offer humor, wisdom, and practical hope for you. In celebration of our third birthday, we’re revisiting the archives to see how far we’ve come and thank you for being part of the Why Tho tribe! Why are we so scared to quit what needs to be quit? Sometimes we forget that it's not just about what we are walking away from, but what we are walking into. There's an expansive world of choice and love out there, and the microcosm of our moment (especially if the job, relationship, mentor, employer, pastor, etc. is unhealthy or unsustainable) can make us feel like if we leave the world will end. Will quitting mess with our calling? Will we miss God? Will we have any other opportunities? Do we have what it takes to navigate the unknown? Here's why quitting could be the best decision you ever made tho: You can build a life you love one step at a time. This episode will help you make an exit plan, dream bigger, and recognize unsafe people and places so you can say, bye tho, with honor and grace. Have you subscribed to our podcast? Thank you for joining us! We'd love to hear from you! Rate, review, and share this episode with a friend who needs to be reminded to focus on faith and not fear, to build their big, beautiful future. www.ashabercrombie.com www.tiffanybluhm.com

2021-09-23•27mins

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